Reading

http://psyjournal.ru/psyjournal/articles/detail.php?ID=2689

One step closer...

My music therapy practice is now ended. 10 sessions are done. Now all the way to write my final paper. A good feeling of helping someone. It's a real motivator. Something you do by heart. Something, what is giving both short term and long term results. It is  a really challenging process. In addition to that, there is a process of working with yourself. Your client issues makes you to discover your own weak and painful points. Thank to my first little client  :)

 

The best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with a heart.

Helen Keller

Ocean of my dreams, Mirabai Ceiba

autumn

Täna helistas üks naine, kes küsis informatsiooni meie elektri pakettide kohta. Rääkisin temale nendest. Siis edasi hakkas ta rääkima, et juba mitu korda on proovitud ühele inimesele helistada, kuid see ei võta toru, ning tuleb vaid kinnine toon. Ta muretses äkki tal ei tööta telefon. Oli väga kurb hääles, tundus et sooviks oma sõbrannaga suhelda, kuid kuidagi ei saa temaga kontakti telefonitsi. Võtsin selle sõbranna telefoni numbri et leida tema meie süsteemis, ning vaadata äkki tal modem offline, ning telefon tõesti ei tööta. Lubasin sellele naisele tagasi helistada. Edasi avasin tema sõbranna profiili ning leidsin üles, et modem on täitsa välja lülitatud. Hakkasin lugema kanneid selle inimese nimel ning leidsin et see inimene on surnud, meile saadeti tema surmatunnistuse. Kohe hakkas kurb. Mõtlesin selle naise peale, kes helistas. Et ta kunagi ei suhtle oma sõbrannaga enam, ega ei näe teda. Kui palju ta tahtis temaga rääkida, ning nüüd kunagi ei saa. Helistasin tagasi talle. Ütlesin, et talon modem ei ole sisse lülitatud, kuidagi keel ei liikunud talle öelda, et tema suri, ning mul ei olnud selleks õiguse, kuna ta ei avaldanud selle sõbranna isikukoodi. Ta hakkas jälle rääkima, nagu tunneks, et midagi on juhtunud, et nii tahaks temaga vestelda. Soovitasin talle proovida selle sõbranna sugulastega kontakti saada. Ei teadnud mis ma võin veel talle öelda ning kuidas aidata. Kuidagi kõik see läks sügavalt südamesse. Suurim osa inimestest ei pea surma otsima. See leiab neid ise. See ei mõtle selle peale, et neil on elu, sõbrad, kallimad ja sugulased olemas.

Stuff

http://spb-psy.ru/pages.php?id=priv

They are leaving

Today I got 2 surprises, one made me feel happy, another one made me feel sad. Today I met my good friend and her daughter, whom I have not seen for some month. I was really glad to see them again. But, they travel away to Belorussia this Friday, and this made me feel sad. They travel for longer time, and not sure when they come back. It has been very sudden news. At the same time I feel calm for them, I am sure they will have a better time there, surrounded by family and relatives, than here in Estonia, where they really had a lot of stress and didn't feel very safe. Emilia has drawn a picture of autumn and she was hugging me so tide, as she understood we will not see each other for longer time. It touched my heart a lot. We shared so many beautiful moments together since the spring. Beautiful summer, with many walks outside. Hard and funny moments. Good laughs. They are ones of my best friends. I will really miss them.

One monday. Just finished on music therapy session, and 3 more sessions left for my practice. Already need to start to write my final thesis for it, with a theme Divorce and children, divorce impact on children.

Pilk iseendasse. 8 kuud. Pilte protsessipäevikust.

Mõni inimene ei näita tõelist end, sest võib olla tal ei ole usaldust teise inimese vastu ning ta kaitseb end sellega, et sulgeb end ja enda isiklikku ruumi, nagu paneks üks rauast ülikond peale.

Sain aru kui tähtis olla aus, avameelne, enesemäärav, ja saada aru vastutusest, selleks et edukalt suhtlema.

Mõnikord blokeerime oma emotsioone, sest kardame et keegi teine ei aksepteeri neid. Sellised blokkid võivad pärast resulteeruda peavalus, masenduses või teises raskes psühhilises seisundis.

Tähtis võtta endale koht mõtlemiseks, situatsiooni kommenteerimata. Liiga kiir otsus võib olla mitte just see õige. Kuid jah, palju sõltub situatsioonist. Mõnikord inimesed mõtlevad väga sügavalt ning ignoreerivad oma emotsioone. Mõnikord see emotsionaalne otsus on just õige just selle inimese jaoks. See on nii individuaalne.

Kui tähtis usaldus on? Kui tähtis on anda vabaduse otsustamiseks ja enda kehtestamiseks et inimlikke suhteid ehitama. Kui tähtis on austada inimese isiklikku ruumi ja toetada selle arenemisel. Aidata tal olla julge, asepteeruda seda julgust. Aidata või anda tal väljendada iseenda viisil tal tundub mugav, ohutu ja kreatiivselt isiklik.

Kui tähtis on panna tähele sümptoome,et inimesel ei ole kõik korras, erinev käitumine, erinev hääleoon, kehakeel. Mis kehahoiak emotsionaalselt ütleb. See tähele panemine võib ennustada raskemaid sutuatsioone.

Mis on tähtis minu jaoks.Perekond. Lugupidamine. Hoolimine.Soojus. Sõprus. Arusaamine. Mitte puhas kontroll. Lahendatud situatsioonid.

On inimesi kelle silmades või kehahoiakus on näha lootusetust.

Arusaamine. Armastus. Suhted. Sõprus. Erinevad inimesed, erinevad maailmad.

Vihkamisel on oma musikaalne struktuur, toon ja resonnants. Vihkamine tundub olevat mürgiline, nii inimesele kes vihkab ja sellele keda ta vihkab.

Negatiivseid emotsioone, tunnete väljendamist ei peaks kartma, nendest võiks proovida aru saada.

Gruppi improvisatsioon õppesessioonil. Meeldis väga trumme mängida. Palju ruumi kreatiivsuseks. Mõtted pärast sessiooni: olla vaimustatud elu võimsusega. Reflekteeruma. Olla võimeline nautida nii heledaid kui ka elu tumedamaid toone. Ma ei saa teada kõike selles elus. Ma saan ainult olla vaimustatud nagu väike laps imet oodates, kogu tema südamega.

- Hoia oma südant enam, kui kõike muud. Südant tuleb hoida, sest sellest lähtub elu. Iidne tarkus.

Et suuda tõepoolest kuulata, tuleb kõik eelarvamused kõrvale heita. Kui te olete vastuvõtlikkus seisundis, on asjadest lihtne aru saada. Õnnetuseks on meil ja kuulatava vahel vastupanu sirm. See sirm koosneb psühholoogilisest ja teadikkest või igapäevastest muredest, soovidest ja hirmudest ja läbi nende hirmude sirmi me kuulamegi. Seepärast kuulame me õigupoolest iseenda müra, enda halt, mitte seda mis öeldakse. Krishnamurti.

Loovus ei oma mingeid standarte. Ei ole inimesi kes ei oleks loov. Iga viis väljendada loovust on unikaalne nagu sõrmejälg.

Täna mõtlesin kui tänulik olen enda vanematele, kes andsid mulle vabadust ise otsusi ja valikuid teha.

Music is truly love itself. The purest, most ethernal language of emotions, embodying all their changing colours in every variety shading and nuance. Carl Maria von Weber. Ilus.

Minevik võiks olla õpetaja, õppetund. Mis oli seal selleks et õppida midagi uut või millestki aru saama,selleks et toimuks mingi muutus. Inimesed ei saa selle protsessi kontrollida. Arvan, et minevikust ei pea hoidma nagu raskest kaalust.

Sõprus. Mõnikord ei ole vaja isegi sõnu. Sõbrad on alati mu südames, sõltumata kui kaugel nemad on.

People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they are not on your road, does not mean they have gotten lost. Dalai Lama

Üks kaunemaid hetki elus on siis kui näed teist inimest naeratamas...ja veelgi ilusam on teadmine, et just sina oled selle naeratuse põhjustajaks. Jaana Kruus

Unistused on tähtsad. Neid tuleb hoida.

Maailm on meie peegeldus. Mõnikord näeme teistes meie oma nähtamatuid küljesid.

Elu eesmärk ei ole kannatada, vaid aru saada.

Nähtamatu punane niit ühendab neid kes on määratud kohtuma, vaatamata aega, kohta ja asjaolusid. Niit võib venitada või minna segadusse, kuid mitte kunagi puruneb.

Mõtlesin kui hirmus on tunda et keegi sind ei vaja. Inimesel on vaja lähedust, aru saamist ja et keegi hoolib su eest.

Haabras kevadine tunne. Esimesed lumekellukesed.

Munadepühad. Käisin kirikus.

Lugesin kadedusest. Kas olin kunagi olnud kade? Olin. Minu emal on olemas lapselaps, ning ta on 1 aasta noorem kui mina. Lapsepõlves olin armukade, sest mulle tundus et tema armastati rohkem kui mind ja anti rohkem tähelepanu. Juba ammu ei ole armukade suhtes, kuid mäletan hästi seda tunnet. Praegu ei ole kade kellegagi vastu. Olen lihtsalt avalik asjadele mis tulevad mu ellu, võtan neid vastu südamega. Usun et iga asi tuleb õigel ajal. Ning olen väga tänulik inimestele kes tulevad mu ellu ja keda olen juba kohtunud.

Lugesin suitsiiditest. Ikka on palju noori ja täiskasvanud kes valivad seda teed. Olen ise olnud kogu selle asja läbi, ning saan aru kui tähtis on märgata varakult sümptoome et selliseid asju ennetama. Kellelgi on raske seda otsust tegema ja endast elu võtta, kellelgi on väga raske elus jääda ja edasi elada. Minu jaoks see oli kange üleminek ja enda elu ja väärtuste ümbermõistmine. Olen tänulik igale inimesele kellega olen tol ajal kokku puutunud ja olen tänulik toele mis olen saanud arstide ja sõprade poolt.

Mu kasuvend on haiglas, koomas. On olnud alkohoolik rohkem kui 15 aastat. Arstid ütlevad et seal on vähe lootust. Aga on. Alati on. Ta on väga heasüdamlik inimene ning tal on kuldsad käed. Palvetan tema eest, panin küünla põlema.

Nahhaalsus on teine õnn mõne jaoks. Mõne jaoks see on absoluutselt loomulik. Härrr!

Mõnikord selleks et õnnelik olla on vaja lihtsalt julgust.

Your body cannot heal without a play Your body cannot heal without a laughter Your body cannot heal without a joy - Catherine Fenwich

Lugesin Pushkini luuletusi.

Päevamõte: Tõtt ei ole, on olemas arvamused.

Mis loob turvalisuse? Soojus, avatus, rääkimine asjadest, lugupidamine, sõbralikkus, hoolivus.

Tegin teraapia käigus pilti sõprusest. Kes on sober minu jaoks? Iseseisev isiksus, võime olla erinevad, erinevate arvamustega, kuid on aksepteerimine, midagi hingeliselt sarnast. Huumorimeel on tähtis. Mäletan et kooliajal mul oli hea sõbranna, väga delikaatne. Mina vahel viskasin nalja, millest ta ei saanud aru, kuid see ei seganud. Mõlemal olid sarnased huvid, armastus looduse ja kunsti, muusika vastu. Väga kahju et me ei suhtle enam, isegi interneti kaudu. Igatsen teda.

Lahkusin töökohast, ehk Hurtigruteni müügitööst. Ei ole kahju. Õppisin palju, kuid on uusi väljakutseid, sooviks rohkem inimestega kontaktis olla, ning mitte norra keeles ning mitte nii suurte raha summadega.

Oma sünnipäeva veetsin oma kalli sõbrannaga ja tema lapsega. Sain lille ning jalutasime Kadriorus. Oli ilus ilm. Rääkisime palju elust, unistustest, lihtsalt nautisime lapsega jalutamist. Rahulik ja rõõmus.

Koolist on puhkus. Hakksin töötama Rimis. Eriti palju vaba aega ei ole. Töö ja sõbrannaga aja veetmine. Olen tänulik, et mul selline sober on olemas. Isegi kui mõnikord mulle tundub et ta võiks delikaatsem olla, kuid austan tema otsekohesust. Loen Irvin Jalomi raamat psühhoteraapiast. Tegin palju pilte lilledest. Lill on ime. Nendes on maagiat. Ja veel üks imeline asi - veepursk! Puhas rõõm.

Alustasin uuel töökohal, klienditeeninduse kõnekeskuses. Minu mentoriks sai väga siiras, avameelne ja otsekohene isiksus. Avaldas mulle palju oma elust, lapsepõlvest ja tundeelust. Rääkisime ka suhetest. Nii huvitav, et nii erinevad arusaamised, ootused ja vaaded meil on.

Esimene teraapia seanss on läbi viidud. Läks pingeliselt, kuid üldiselt olen rahul.

Julgus formuleerida mõtteid. Julgus sekkuda. Julgus veendunud olla.

Prison, Århus and a new week

Today we visited open prison close to Odense. It was interesting indeed! We got some walking tour on a territory and also got into one small museum where are collected things from different years.
Next day we went to Århus for a trip, with a bus. We walked in Århus old city, a very beautiful one. I got my feet all wet and ended up in Århus library til we went back home. We arrived for a supper. It was a very nice trip.
Week started with visiting Anne Lise home for a danish coffee and pre-christmas danish cake and also some presents exchange. Also we got last lesson for welness class where we got foot bath and some relaxing music. Today, Tuesday - we had Mette's class with a discussion about white privilege.

New week!

This sunday we had a tour to Odense Christmas market. I saw also some street theater there. Weekend went very quickly. And I forgot to meantion on Saturday we had some fun with candie workshop, where we made some chocolade candies. Monday went quickly with Welness class, where we studied about aroma oil and also made back massage to each other. It has been very delightful and I fully enjoyed it. Tuesday we had Mette's Take the future class with another topic about unconditional love and on how we can teach ourselves to think differently. Swimming went quickly..i have been too la3y. But for sure it was good with a sauna... :D

Onions, apple juice and Sigur Ros

Today we have been to Gyldensteen onion and vegetable factory, and saw how onions are sorted and packed. Its history goes back to 1717, when Jean Henri Huguetan was elevated to the rank of Count by the Danish King and assumed the title and name Count of Gyldensteen. We saw the production and machinery inside the factory and also tasted apple juice produced on a factory. It has been very interesting, and we also got a chance to taste an apple juice, which was one of the best I ever tasted. Factory has in total 2126 ha and growing up not only onions, but also other type of vegetables as potatoes, wheat, corn, broccoli, permanent grass and apples. They have both yields and forest with oaks, beech, softwood and firewood. They also produce an apple juice, which is sold mainly in Copenhagen.
Also we got some discussion about new rule for foreigners in Denmark, which is one of the most stupid things I have heard of.
Later on I had a short lesson with Anne-Lise, where we talked a bit about music videos, its cost and value. In particular we talked about Sigur Ros productions, and also some Danish artists. Sigur Ros is one of my favourite artists. I consider them as musicians working with a strong concept. They make mainly experimental, ambient and symphonic music. Their music videos are great and can be seen as in short film perspective. These wake up many thoughts about problems within society and also some global topics as air pollution, atomic weapons and nature resources' usage. They bring to audience not only music and pictures, but also something to think about and to discuss.

Coaching

Today we had Mette's lecture and workshop on and about coaching. We got some stuff and also practiced as by being coach and coachee. It has been very interesting and also very good to learn. I reflected much on own knowledge and also learnt some new things.

Why coaching? Because:
- coaching helps to live full potential
- coaching is always headed forwards - towards a goala
- coaching is supporting and challenging the coachee
- coaching has the basic idea, that we create our reality in our mind, and we can achieve almost anything we want, if we are motivated and focused - and clear on our priorities.

What is coaching good for?
- to get you from dreams to reality
- to focus on idea until action
- to help you to know where are you going
- to get you clear on your values, which again helps you to make your choices
- to support you in an individual world
- to go from confused to clear
- to make a group or team focus on the same goal, and find common solutions.

Coaching is NOT a therapy and it is not heading backwards.

What made me to who I am?
Life wheel
Goal
Action plan

What is good to give you a motivation:
meditation, yoga, people, music, sleep, food, sports, life stories, visible results, breath, will, images, jogging, vacation, nature, party.

What can help?
- to draw up the line clearly
- to understand and handle preventions
- to take small steps
- to keep focus
- to create happiness on the way
- to create energy
- clarity-clarity-clarity

Values:
What would you do all in your life to achieve...
Peace, security, family, love, happiness

What will that give to you?
Satisfaction, selvrealisation

Some main spots:
How satisfied are you with
- health
- personal development
- family
- friends
- economy
- career
- relationships
- spirituality
-- scale 1-10

What goal do you have and what you need to achieve your goal.
What you need to make it happen and what are your values?
What can prevent you of making it and what are resolution steps.

For example, my goal is to study Danish and be able to be fluent in it.
What I need? I find that meditation, enough sleep, good food, some sports, party, breath and a good will would help me to achieve my goal. I need to work with myself and not to be too la3y. I need to start doing things practically, not just talking about it. I need to learn not only about language, but also about culture. To be more happy and motivated through the sports, communication, physical activities and music. To have more will to study!
What can prevent me on my way?
Being too la3y, not proper usage of a free time, maybe lack of communication with native speakers.
And resolution steps are: doing some sports regularly, meditation, yoga - gives more energy and self confidence, going to parties more often, social activities, getting enough sleep in peacful and quiet environment, going to bed earlier.

ACTION!
- the biggest prevention/gift is your own head
- the gift is that you can do something - you do not have to wait for anybody
- all you can do is your best - the rest is not up to you.
- remember!Life is worth it. There is a gold in the end of a tunnel.

When you achieve something you want, you feel so much great. It gives much power and energy. It is much about an attitude towards the life and things happening with us and around us.

Wednesday

Painting in the morning, healthy lunch and quick visit to a library. I ended up with books about a life style and 3 films on Danish. Yes, now I am ready to study more Danish language. This is my goal for next few weeks. Also, today is already 1 of december!Cannot believe!I already look forward to start Mindfull Living course.
Yesterday we learnt about aura and energy. Here is some of information:

Aura as part of the human being
An aura consists of very fine vibrating energies, that is what we often “see/feel” as a person’s good or bad vibrations. Aura is an expression of a human beings personality and potentials.
You can say that a human being has five different bodies: The physical, the ethereal, the astral, the mental and the spiritual. The word aura means radiance. The aura is reflections of the non-physical aspects of the human being.
The physical body: a tool to express all levels of ourselves, it is a picture of our energy, thoughts, feelings and qualities. Your body shows who you are.
The ethereal body: It receives, layers and pass on life energy. It has to spread and coordinate life energy to the physical body. There are four layers in the ethereal body:
outer 1: health layer,
outer 2: What we do in life, (how we manifest)
SKIN
inner 3: truth layer, (balance in who we are, and who we show we are)
inner 4: the chemical structure (what receives life energy prana from the sun)
The astral body: is motivating us and giving us the energy to start things. It is about attraction and its opposite.
The mental body: Gives our lives direction – it creates pictures visions and explanations.
The spiritual body: Is our “I am” is our identity. It is all the abilities that stay with us throughout our lives, our true potential and quality.

To be well, to be able to live our qualities, we have to have good energy flow through the ethereal in order to get in touch with the astral and spiritual. People of today are reaching out for the spiritual – the meaning – the answer to “why am I here”. According to Helen Gamborg, a danish physiotherapist, the ability to do so is a matter of being in touch with “all your bodies, but particularly the spiritual body. Her studies are based on the theory of Bob Moore.

slow Saturday

Today was wonderful. We took a walk from Harritslev to Bogense. Very snowy and sunny weather - real pre-Christmas weather!!We also dropped by a library and back by horse riding place. It was very cold by the end. I borrowed some good book and also a danish film The Escape, which we saw in the afternoon.

Long weekend

This weekend is long and we already had free yesterday, on Friday!
We got lots of nice snow and Christmas tree in a yard! It looks beautiful.
I have not done anything special these days, just doing absolutely nothing, sleeping, and oh yeah we got some party and chill too. So, sleeping, chatting with friends and surfing Internet.
This week we made a small presentation of Estonian Song festival on Take the Future class. It has been fun, because we also printed out some songs and sung them together with Youtube. And yeah, again much homework to do, need to read read read :-)

English and a music

We had no English lesson today, as seems Anne-Lise became sick. But Ai played some wonderful music for us and we made some small translations for yearbook.
Later on, on wellness class we went for a meditation and walk on a beach. It was cold and windy, but at the same time, it was very fresh and it was nice to smell the sea. Each of us found a stone or a shell to concentrate on during the meditation.
Than we came back to the school and started with a hand massage, and back massage. It was a very pleasant to get relaxed.

Fishing

Sunday was a fishing!We went by car somewhere on country side. There were kind of 2 lakes and plenty of people with fishing equipment. I think there were around 20 persons for 2 small drops of water. We were there for some hours and no fish caught! Although some other fishermen got some fish. Than it started to rain and I went to the car, where i was sitting for an hour. Before that we made a little walking with Stiina, maybe for couple of km. I slept around one hour when we were back home.

- Japanese style

Yesterday we had Japanese style party with sushi and drinks. Sushi was great to make, it was the first time in my life I tried to make them. It went pretty well. I made some rolls and japanese people really liked it.
Party time, well...Time went pretty quickly..I also got some back and shoulder's massage. It was very painful, because I have hard muscles. Need to relax and train more. Also need to rest and make some light training while sitting long with PC, to strech muscles.
Today is Saturday and I slept really a lot after yesterday's party as I felt really sick. So I slept all the time after 12 am til a dinner time 6 pm. Actually, I even didn't want to eat much. Although i ate some good food - cooked potatoes and some vegetables, but without any appetite. I think I became a bit homesick. I like it here in school, but I miss my mum actually.
Tomorrow hopefully I sleep again and do some yoga together with Japanese girls.
Also I really need to do some homework and read documents for Take the future workshops.